Here’s a powerful message to share this week: Surround Yourself with Positive People. A couple of weeks ago I discussed that “the world is an abundant place,” and since last week’s post, we have been practicing our statements of “I Am.” So, next I’d like to share this powerful message: Surround yourself with positive people. While this sounds like something we should naturally be doing, there are often people in our lives who distract us from focusing positively. What can we do to change that?
First, ask yourself a couple questions: Do you focus your life in a positive, loving manner to attract people who have your best interests at heart? And do you say no to the people in your life who are negative, destructive, and focused only on their own agendas? Ah . . . the second question is the key! Too often, there are well-meaning people in our lives (family members, friends, or even significant others) who love to complain about things, focus negatively, or only contact us when they have a specific agenda to fill. These are the people to whom we need to say a resounding “No!”
I realize that it can be complicated to say no to a family member who loves to go on and on about all the bad things in his or her life. And then there’s the coworker who just loves to focus negatively, expecting the worst from everyone. The best tool I can offer you here is two-fold: Try to turn the conversation around by speaking about the positive aspects of the situation or ask them to change the subject if you’ve already covered it thoroughly. Repeating the same negative words over and over again will not change anything!
I have many close friends who I’ve known for years, but I am always forming new friendships, too. A couple of years ago, I met a new friend, and at first, we really seemed to connect. We spent many evenings talking about our lives—new jobs, boyfriends, and all the changes that were naturally occurring. I was in an “unwinding” period; I needed some time to vent, as I let go of some old relationships and prepared myself for the new things entering my life. After a time, I began to notice that our conversations always seemed to be negatively focused. We never finished our complaints to move on to the good things that were happening. She complained about everything—and I just naturally listened as good friends do.
After a while, I realized that I was becoming drained and that I needed to focus more positively. I tried to change the topics to a more positive focus, but it didn’t seem to work. Eventually, I gently reminded myself, “Surround yourself with positive people.” I wasn’t able to change my friend’s behavior, so I started to distance myself from her, choosing instead to spend time with uplifting, fun, and supportive friends. I made a good choice, because as much as I love to help someone, I also realized that, in this particular relationship, I was not being of help to myself. This was an old habit I definitely intended to break.
If you realize that your friend, family member, or coworker is an “energy drain,” and you can’t positively redirect your encounters, then spending the least amount of time with that person will ultimately benefit you. If that person notices that you are spending less time with them, perhaps that will initiate a shift so that they can try to make some positive changes in their outlook.
Today, I choose to say “Yes!” to the wonderful people, places, and events in my life that are positive and lift me up! I know there will be well-meaning people who focus negatively, but I will do my best to shift their outlook to a more positive one, if possible. I will carefully choose with whom I spend the most time, and these will be the people who inspire me and shine their light in a loving manner.
Thank you, everyone, for your kind and positive thoughts this week! XO Shari